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a note for my students (younger and older)
i, like many people, deal with most of my life with a ridiculous sense of humor. while this works sometimes, like graduation goggles, it typically results in glossing over some important details.
- I worked so hard in school because I knew the only way out of SD would be to get into a good college. (I often told this one to my co-workers)
Truth: I worked hard because validation/success is addicting. Once I got praise, I worked harder for more praise (important lesson for future parents/teachers out there). Yes, I wanted to move out of SD. But proving that even though I was lacking in science/math skills, I could work hard/smart and still get stuff done, that meant the world to me. It continues to be my motivation today. - I ditched class all the time my first and second year, especially to sit on Bruin Walk, but eventually learned to like my classes and with increased leadership and planning skills, became a better student.
Truth: I ditched class because I needed to go to work and/or thought that I was so dumb that going to class wouldn’t help me do any better. I started going to class regularly and really applying myself when I thought of how much people had invested in me, how much I had fought for my spot at UCLA, and how I wanted to make these investments worth it. People had showed me the planning tools before. It wasn’t until I was close to losing my scholarship and had actually lost a dear family friend that I realized I had something worth fighting for (and thus using resources for) - my future and the future of my family - I juggled a lot of things (jobs, organizations, committees, academics, etc) during undergrad, partied hard, and still survived/did well.
Truth: I was exhausted. I cried rather regularly out of exhaustion. And at times I wished my life could be easier. I rarely took a break. I didn’t go to Vegas or to Disneyland on a regular basis. Yes, I went to hella parties, but during my 4th year, I usually fell asleep first. Do I regret it? Hell no. I often tell my roommate I wish I did more - because after getting through that and doing well, I realized that I’m stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I am by no means advocating for overworking oneself, but I am saying that life isn’t meant to be easy.
Nor do I wish it to be unreasonably difficult. My version of carpe diem entails taking advantage of as many opportunities that make themselves available (within reason). You don’t get a redo button in life. And I can honestly say that everything I got involved in was in alignment with my goals and that I learned from those experiences (even that UCLA Call Center job). - I love post-grad life just as much as I loved undergrad.
Truth: I read somewhere about it just being really sad if you think college/HS/anything is the best 4 years of your life. I’m 24. that means only 16.7% of my life has been awesome and it’s already over. The first year after graduating was extremely difficult, and the following year - pretty damn wonderful, but that’s just it. Life is all about cycles. The only things we control are the decisions we make and the attitude with which we approach the decisions and their results.
I am also a firm believer that you don’t just all of a sudden become a part of society after you graduate. The phrase “welcome to the real world” is a little misleading - you should have been in some part of the real world this whole time. College is definitely a warped/more secure version of this real world, but real nonetheless. Therefore, is post-grad life just as awesome as undergrad? In my opinion, every time we are blessed with another day of life is a chance to make that day more awesome than the previous.
…just a few of the things that have been on my mind.
- I worked so hard in school because I knew the only way out of SD would be to get into a good college. (I often told this one to my co-workers)
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Notes for myself
remember to have faith in people. if we believe the world can change, then we must believe in people’s capacity to change.
remember that great leaders are not born. they are born and bred. anything that can be learned, can also be challenged and unlearned…so what are you doing about it?
patience is not only a virtue, but a way to look at the world. if you spend all your time and energy on what’s wrong, you’ll miss out on all the opportunities for beauty and happiness. patience enables us to give people a chance to grow and work things out. it leaves or eyes and hearts open to surprises.
that being said, time is neither for nor against us. it’s a constant, indifferent. so things don’t get better in time; you make things better in time.
and lastly, when the world/people/work start driving you crazy, remember the love that drove you to make certain life choices, and it’s this same love that makes everything worth it. it’s the love of yourself, of your family, of your people that should drive what you do.
…week 7. are you for serious?
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1051200 Minutes (while I’m stuck in this airport)
Really though. How do you measure 2 years? Here are some random highlights in no particular order.
- Apple picking for the first time.
- Fame
- Phantom of the Opera
- Wait, you mean there’s no walls separating our classrooms?
- Checkpoints
- Disney on Ice
- “Shut Up!” Arnel.
- 2011
- Eviction
- Wait, why did I leave SoCal?
- FASAmilia
- The Lions meeting was cancelled? I’m treasurer?
- You volunteered to drive for JFAV?
- So cousin, I’m thinking about running for secretary.
- Sunflower Room 2 aka the room with the best Cat Daddies ever!
- “I want to be a doctor girl.”
- Vegas One Nighter
- This book is so scary” – referring to Dr. Suess’ “Oh the Places You’ll Go.”
- Wait, are we having then talk I think we’re about to have?
- March Madness
- Hot tub
- Soulful Monday
- 10 coffee shops in Vegas
- Yama Sushi
- I -
my heart and prayers... →
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“Sometimes we say words without realizing the impact they may have on others. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Take the time to educate yourself about language and histories of oppression.”
I love this.
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Okay, so I missed yesterday. I might double post tonight/tomorrow. This song doesn’t exactly match my life, but there is something cathartic about belting this song in my car.
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I did not fight with the thought of becoming a hero – I just did what I was ordered to do but suffering such sacrifices and expecting death at any moment gave me the strength and the courage to fight. Through these trials it made me realized that there was always someone greater who always was with me.
–Faustino “Peping” Baclig, Filipino World War II Veteran
1922-2011Rest in Peace Manong Peping. What a loss for the Pilipino community. Yet another reminder though that we are part of a greater movement, fighting not just for ourselves and for now, but for those who came before us and those who will come after.
(via kristinaashley)
(via kristinaashley)
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So I always want to start these challenges, but don’t finish. Also, I’ve always wanted to compile a soundtrack/random mixtape that sums how I’m feeling, but I haven’t finished that either. And random songs pop in my head, but I forget to write them down, and thus forget to obtain them for my iPod.
So here’s the plan. Until the end of my commitment here in the LVV, I will post a song of the day - a song I hear on the radio, pandora, etc. that just so happens to fit my mood at the time that I hear it. This will also help me remember what’s happening in my life, so at the end of the week I’m not saying, “Hmm..I can’t really remember Tuesday.”
So today, that song is “Can You Stand the Rain,” by New Edition.
When did I hear it?: It came on Music Choice as I was starting to do some work on my laptop around 5 pm.
Why it works for today?:
1) It rained a little, and I was the one person to lug a gigantic umbrella today because I didn’t want to get my hair wet. Apparently, I cannot stand the rain, or at least my hair cannot stand it.
2) It just so happen to play as I was beginning to resume my work. My life’s work (and I’m not just saying my job) comes with many perks. I get to see my student’s eyes light up as they learn new words, letters, anything. I get to participate in their growth. It’s amazing that parents trust educators with their children for extended periods of time - we’re providing the tools with which these children will shape their world. That’s a pretty daunting task. And that doesn’t come without rain. And times like this past week, I feel like I’m drowning in the rain. But as this song says, “Sunny days, everybody loves them…can you stand the rain?” Handling the rain this weekend, because I know that the rain is essential for growth.
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I’m sure someone’s got to have asked this before….
As I’ve been reading, “The Autobiography of Malcolm X,” and concluding my last couple months here in Las Vegas, I’ve been thinking about the purpose of and need for ethnic studies.
Although I cannot claim to fully understand it, nor do I consider myself adequately immersed in it, I do know that Las Vegas is a very interesting/unique community. While there are always “new people moving in” wherever you live, Las Vegas is that concept and multiplied tenfold. Because of the state of the economy and the low cost of living here, I would venture to say that at least half of the folks that live here did not originate here. Between 1990 and 2000, the population here has almost doubled. While population growth has slowed, in 2010 Las Vegas saw and average of 2,501 new residents per month. Most of the parents in my classroom have come from out of state - ranging from Ohio to Mexico.
The one person I’ve met here that grew up here can remember a time when most of the housing developments did not exist - there was simply land, dirt, basically the desert. A lot of the change here has been rapid, recent, and in the words of my roommate, “quick and dirty.” Take for example, the housing developments, there are more homes right now than people willing and able to occupy them. Where was the foresight? She’s the one person who has been able to tell me anything about the history of Las Vegas. One of the parents in my classroom said, “I just feel lost here, like there’s no sense of community.” And elections? I feel like that’s the shortest line to vote I have ever been in.
So I bring this up because as I was thinking about ethnic studies, I started thinking about the purpose of education in general and what the curriculum looks like. There’s been a lot of talk about the need for education reform. (I also just recently watched “Waiting for Superman.”). There’s talk about how we are so behind in math in science, how there are jobs in the technology industry but we haven’t been preparing our citizens to work in those jobs - basically how we need our children to be educated so that they can be leaders in the community and in the world at large. Yet, as I reflect upon my own education and my conversations with people throughout my life, and especially here in Vegas, how many of us know the history of our own cities? I remember having to learn about the history of California in fourth grade, which was also the first/only time in my K-12 education in which Filipinos were even mentioned and it was for a paragraph. If we’re trying to prepare our folks to be leaders in the community/country/world, shouldn’t they learn about it?
For UCLA, wouldn’t it just make sense to have a history of LA course (at least one) by part of the general ed requirements (and I mean full on history, let’s study how the populations have changed, race relations, immigration, ALL of it, including UCLA’s history). Doesn’t that just seem practical? And I mean, while it’s great that we studied California in fourth grade, wouldn’t it make sense to study all these things in high school. I feel like courses like US Government and Economics would have more relevance/make more sense if during senior year we had to apply these concepts to what happened/what’s going on in the city in which we live. Heck, every thing would have more relevance (engineering, architecture, etc.) if part of our education involved applying these concepts to where we live. And while, I realize that this praxis is what I should be doing, and am trying to do, in my life now, if one of the purposes of education is to prepare future community/national/world leaders, heck..citizens, why aren’t we learning about these things in school? Am I asking a stupid question here? Someone please enlighten me.
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Sometimes…
I wish I had gone with my 12 year old ambitions of working to become a Laker Girl. But really, sitting here in the airport to fly to DC - it’s amazing how our dreams change as we learn more about the world and ourselves.
